Diary Entry 4:

The living condition became rough and rough every day. There was less food, the weather is getting colder, and most of the clothes were ripped because of the Japanese soldier. Now that the Japanese have occupied the land, everything seemed worse than ever. Of all things I could think of, I missed my sister the most. Loneliness was slowly killing me. How could I lost her? What will I tell my mom and dad if they come back? What if no one comes back.

There was surely one person who always came back to me. Those Japanese who call themselves honorable soldier because they have a weapon and a suit to represent their nation. To me they were nothing but monstrous animals. They have different appearance every time, but inside they were same. One might say how beautiful I look without clothes, or one might say how awful I look no matter what; only thing they want is to rape me. I began to cry out loud like a child. Then I realized I am indeed a child. I'm only 16 years old. Why do only 16 years old girl have to go through this? These things are destroying the innocence of mine.

Just then another guy came into the room. He must have heard my cries. He was tall and had big brown eyes, with a pointy nose. He kept on staring at me with his cold eyes, and there was an awkward silence. I slowly got undressed in silence. Then he started talking all the craps, how he would never forget me, how he thinks I am the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Something in his tone told me that he's kinder than other guys. After he finished, he told me how cruel the other Japanese solders. They sometimes cut girl's breast out, and put any object inside the girl. This convinced me that he was different from other guys. I asked him, "how the war going?" He didn't answer. He packed his stuff and left my house. There was a Chinese newspaper on my desk. It must be his, I thought. The front cover of the newspaper had a photo of an American huge pilot. It says that America has almost defeated Japan in the Pacific War. I hoped that it wouldn't take that long for America to reach Nanking.